Limericks: Christmas Edition by LaBruyere, literature
Literature
Limericks: Christmas Edition
There once was a snowflake named Nell
A frigid mademoiselle,
Who thought, "I'll succeed
In this life that I lead!"
While her life flashed right by as she fell.
A snowman named Chad was befuddled:
Life was so short and so muddled!
He watched days come and go
But too soon, as you know,
He melted away in a puddle.
One winter the North Pole was closed:
For Santa was sick in his nose.
He sat by the fire
And yelled, "I'm retired!"
So Christmas is cancelled I s'pose.
There once was a fair dominatrix
who flatly refused to wear latex
the wearing of leather
gave her much pleasure
(not to mention her strange rubber complex)
There was an old stripper named Lil
who once showed remarkable skill
her breasts once so round
now dragged on the ground
Poor Lil was quite over the hill!
There once was a man called de Sade
whose behavior was terribly bad
with bull whips he'd sate
his bestial tastes
my God, what a horrible cad!
There was once a director of the Hobbit
when filming LotR, he used to quite crop it.
The profit is free,
so let's make movies three:
that was the way he now saw it.
I just made a good friend named Dan
who drove a weird, hippie blue van
Deep inside it hides his cello
which he painted a bright yellow
Seriously, what's up with you man?
Now came quite a cool guy called Steve
who thought me as pretty naive
Turns out he's nothing but chicken
he loves me but keeps it hidden
A priest on sabbatical leave?!
Last but not least was cutie Joe
who kept my heart fluttering so
But one day I caught him in action
with makeup and hair to perfection
Could that be my garter? Oh no!